Travis Kelce’s 2023 Season, as Told by Tabloid Headlines

As a tradition author at The Ringer, I devour sports activities in precisely two methods: docuseries about sports activities and when a sports-related occasion crosses far sufficient into popular culture to be featured in Web page Six, Individuals journal, or the Day by day Mail (that one’s largely for Lewis Hamilton information). When Taylor Swift began courting Kansas Metropolis Chiefs tight finish Travis Kelce, I used to be excited that I would lastly be capable of speak to my Ringer colleagues about sports activities. However every headline I learn in my beloved tabloids solely confuses me extra about who Travis Kelce is and why he gained’t go to the Golden Globes with Taylor Swift and why he celebrated his birthday in his automotive. So I requested Nora Princiotti—my pal, my esteemed colleague, and the professional reporter on each Taylor Swift and the NFL—to information me by way of these headlines and what they actually imply.

Nora: Jodi! Thrilled to be right here with you. It continues to be bizarre dwelling within the skilled middle of this particular Venn diagram, however I’m right here to assist. I can’t promise to make sense of all of this, however I’m very excited to discover “Travis Kelce as written by the Web page Six headline writers” collectively. The place ought to we begin?

Jodi: Nora, you understand that I possess little or no information of the NFL. However I’ve to admit to you earlier than we get began: I do know nothing concerning the NFL. I can—and can—make you dumber by way of this course of. However in flip, you will make me smarter. And what’s that if not friendship? What’s that if not the potential for a splendidly complicated Web page Six headline down the highway? Let’s get began:

“Travis Kelce spends thirty fourth birthday hanging out in his automotive with pals—not Taylor Swift” —Web page Six, October 6

Jodi: It’s been a very long time since I considered simply … hanging out in my automotive. Not too long ago, I did suppose my automotive was in park, however—TWIST—it was nonetheless in drive, and after I began my compulsory “only a fast scroll” earlier than going inside my home, my automotive did roll ahead and gently caress the neighbor’s automotive …

… however that’s me. And this is about NFL tight finish Travis Kelce—an individual with a job I completely find out about. And on at the present time in October, Travis Kelce had chosen—it appears!—to have a good time his thirty fourth birthday inside his automotive, with his pals, however with out his new girlfriend, worldwide famous person Taylor Swift.

Now, I wish to be clear that I truly do know a little bit about Kelce, in that I’ve seen how he clothes, I’ve heard him communicate, and I can simply image his sly smile. So, given his overgrown teenager persona, I truly may think about him hanging out in a Sonic parking zone; the Route 44 Ocean Water virtually fills itself with vodka. However I don’t suppose that’s what’s occurring right here, as a result of it’s his birthday, and highschool birthdays aren’t for Sonic—they’re for Texas Roadhouse. May Web page Six have captured Travis Kelce hanging out in a Texas Roadhouse parking zone, recovering from a number of rounds of cinnamon butter along with his pals? Perhaps …

However I merely can’t perceive why Taylor Swift wouldn’t be invited to such an event. Clearly she is a really rich girl who may hang around anyplace she needs, however a enjoyable a part of this relationship with Travis Kelce appears to be that she will get to stroll on sidewalks once more. Would possibly she not wish to hand around in a automotive? My bigger query although—and I do imply that actually—isn’t concerning the Sonic parking zone or Taylor Swift’s whereabouts for her boyfriend’s birthday. It’s that Travis Kelce is an enormous, big NFL participant, and his pals most likely are too: Precisely what form of automotive gives them sufficient area to hang around, not to mention blow out birthday candles?

Nora: These are all nice questions, and I do suppose we should always spend a while on Travis’s automobiles of alternative. On this case, it looks like he and his pals had been holding this birthday hold in some big, nondescript SUV. However when Travis has pushed Taylor round Kansas Metropolis on different events, he’s favored both a basic convertible or his Rolls-Royce Ghost, a large however very descript SUV that apparently options an LED light-up ceiling that may show the constellations of the night time sky. The one automotive function that has ever mattered to me is an efficient seat hotter—cozy!—however I do suppose these decisions sign the likelihood that Travis loves to be within the automotive. Additionally, I’m not accusing anybody of something, however he doesn’t strike me as somebody prone to be wholly unfamiliar with the idea of hotboxing.

Jodi, enlightened: This truly is hilarious conduct; they are surely simply huge youngsters hanging out in a parking zone, secretly smoking in the course of soccer apply! And that automotive is large and, extra importantly, seems to be carrying an additional little hat to accommodate somebody as tall as Kelce. Taylor Swift mustn’t have to hang around in that automotive, however she ought to be invited.

Nora: Taylor Swift ought to all the time be invited. I do suppose one of many main impressions one would get of Travis from these headlines is that he’s all the time both with Taylor Swift or not with Taylor Swift. That binary is the defining function of any exercise he does lately, which sadly makes half of what he does appear form of lame, no matter what it’s. I wouldn’t need that utilized to my life. Nora Princiotti enjoys a day on the seaside … WITHOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. Nora Princiotti rescues a stray kitten … BUT TAYLOR SWIFT IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Don’t rub it in, Web page Six!

For the report, I do imagine Taylor visited Travis in Kansas Metropolis round his birthday to have a good time. And the truth that this automotive hold occurred within the Chiefs parking zone makes me suppose it was after apply, by which case, after all she wasn’t there! I’m tempted to say that Travis and pals had been principally simply coming and going right here, although the story does be aware that they spent an hour contained in the automotive. I can’t think about something I wish to do much less on my birthday than sit inside a automotive for an hour, however I additionally gained’t faux I perceive the connection between some males and their motor automobiles.

“Eli Manning defends Travis Kelce visiting Taylor Swift in Argentina on his bye week” —Web page Six, November 9

Jodi: Nora, I gained’t make you clarify what a bye week is, I’ll Google it, however please don’t inform our bosses I didn’t know!!!

Ah sure, it’s a basic bye week in Kansas Metropolis, and Travis Kelce is off obligation. He’s received NFL PTO, and he is aware of simply how you can use it: He’s going to go to his girlfriend in Argentina, the place she is performing greater than a decade’s value of music in entrance of 85,000 folks. I can solely assume that Eli Manning—former NFL quarterback, nailed it—is pressured to defend Travis Kelce as a result of … folks suppose … Kelce must be … resting? (I don’t know this for certain, however I assume touring on a personal airplane is nearly probably the most luxurious expertise potential, equaled solely by hotboxing a Rolls-Royce along with your nearest, dearest, and sweatiest friends.)

Presumably, Eli Manning is all, “Don’t fear, everybody who’s by no means performed a day {of professional} soccer of their life; I took a number of holidays whereas being an NFL quarterback for 16 years, and I used to be nonetheless completely good at soccer afterward.” (Looks as if a superb man, this man I’ve made up in my head!) Is that it? Do followers suppose Travis Kelce shouldn’t be touring? I imply, it’s a bye week—as in, goodbye Kansas Metropolis, whats up Argentina! It’s my understanding that Travis Kelce is superb at soccer. He’s not gonna get un-good at soccer if he takes his off week … off. Proper? Proper, Nora?!

Nora: He isn’t. That stated, the factor you must perceive is that, in soccer tradition, there are a lot of trapdoors hidden underneath the dates on the NFL calendar when an athlete is, at the very least in principle, not required to be doing soccer issues. Eli Manning positively is aware of this. He was the quarterback of the 2016 New York Giants crew whose broad receivers brought about an uproar by going to Miami—and posting photographs taken on a ship with none aside from Trey Songz, amongst others—forward of their wild-card playoff recreation in opposition to the Packers, which they wound up dropping by a number of touchdowns. This was sufficient of a scandal to warrant a nickname—one thing I do know you, Jodi, can respect—and it brings me pleasure to tell you that this one was christened “Boatghazi.” So possibly Eli is giving quotes to Individuals (which Web page Six aggregated) as a result of he needs to assist Travis keep away from an identical destiny. (Web page Six is aggregating Eli Manning quotes as a result of, in New York, there’s all the time an area angle.)

“Why Travis Kelce isn’t touring to NYC to be with Taylor Swift on her birthday” —Web page Six, December 13

Jodi: Wow, so what I’ve discovered is that Travis Kelce was risking not simply jet lag, however reputational wreck (and probably a kick-ass portmanteau, which I truly think about an excellent commerce) as a way to go to his girlfriend in Argentina. It actually appears like he likes spending time with Taylor. However Web page Six has made it abundantly clear to me that he’s nearly by no means spending holidays with Taylor, so I’m swimming in questions as soon as extra! (I certain hope Trey Songz someway enters this chat once more because of this.)

For this headline, in Travis’s protection, I’ll say this: Virtually all of my family members’ birthdays, together with my very own, happen throughout the identical two-month interval, and it may be a little bit difficult to handle. What, I’m presupposed to journey to Georgia thrice in a month to have a good time a bunch of non-landmark birthdays? And if I don’t, PAGE SIX IS GOING TO SAY I DON’T LOVE MY MOM???

So I get it; it might be robust in a brand new relationship to have each birthdays solely two months aside throughout the busy season and whereas being consistently monitored by the headline-reading plenty. Plus, Travis positively looks like a birthday-month individual, and it’s my understanding that Taylor Swift is type of a birthday-life individual (no. 13). So why wouldn’t Travis journey to see Taylor on her birthday in NYC? I imply, he traveled to Argentina for her not-birthday ON A BYE WEEK! Kansas Metropolis to New York is slightly below three hours on a airplane—is that not the form of factor you are able to do between soccer video games? Is Web page Six proper? Did Travis Kelce intentionally miss Taylor Swift’s thirty fourth birthday? Is it as a result of she needed to have a good time it outdoors of a automotive? Is there not a Texas Roadhouse in New York Metropolis?

Nora: Can I simply say first that I like that Web page Six tagged this text underneath “music”?

Once more, soccer tradition comes with a number of unwritten guidelines. Would Travis have been expressly forbidden from rapidly hopping on the PJ to go to Taylor in New York for an evening? No, however I wager it will have backfired, positively within the press and possibly additionally along with his teammates. If the BYE WEEK is dangerous, touring in between days of practices positively is. (I do suppose if the invite had been to Texas Roadhouse and to not Zero Bond—the members-only membership the place Taylor Swift hangs out and the place Lauren Sánchez’s son works whereas remotely attending the College of Colorado, Boulder—Travis would have at the very least requested Andy Reid about it.)

Jodi: This story is tagged underneath music?! And right here I assumed I used to be lastly breaking into sports activities journalism. However I’m studying a lot, that’s certainly simply across the nook. (First lesson: Don’t skip soccer apply for lamb sliders at Zero Bond.)

“Jason Kelce calls out Taylor Swift’s dad for carrying Chiefs sweater regardless of being Eagles fan: ‘Flawed crew’” —Web page Six, December 20

Jodi: Nora, wait. … I’m so embarrassed to be asking you this on a number of totally different ranges, however … didn’t Taylor Swift develop up in Pennsylvania? Is she, like her father (based on her boyfriend’s brother, based on this headline in Web page Six), a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles?! I assume everybody might be previous it now, however this all had the potential to go very Capulets and Montagues, huh?

See, this is what I expertise studying these headlines—realizing a lot about all of those folks and but so little or no. Out of your earlier explanations, I assume there’s a whole unwritten rule guide about soccer apparel (costumes? uniforms? gear? fashions? I’m so sorry). However from what I find out about Jason Kelce—which is actually form of rather a lot by way of my TikTok algorithm—he’s a flip-flop-wearing, podcast-having, gruff little sweetheart. So, it’s my assumption that he known as out Taylor Swift’s dad all in good enjoyable. And but, Web page Six has offered it as if Jason Kelce is able to sq. up with a 71-year-old man. Is that true? Is everybody getting alongside in these two very well-known, deeply Americana households? Has Scott Swift sacrificed all of his ideas, traditions, and allegiances to Philadelphia as a way to assist his daughter’s boyfriend? (As a result of I personally suppose that’s candy, however I don’t personal any soccer costumes, so, as regular, what do I do know?)

Nora: Oh, to be known as out within the headlines of Web page Six. That is one other tabloid factor, sure? Everybody all the time appears to be getting known as out—or worse, placed on blast. I’m glad the algo has introduced you Jason Kelce content material, although, and I imagine your instincts are right right here: That is all in good enjoyable. Sure, Taylor Swift grew up an Eagles fan, and, sure, that’s the place Scott Swift’s fandom beforehand lay. However I feel we’re all #TeamTravis now, and I feel Jason most likely understands that deep down. The factor it’s essential to find out about Scott Swift is that he’s a former school soccer participant turned stockbroker who began a household along with his then-wife, Andrea, on a Christmas tree farm in Pennsylvania earlier than all of them moved to Nashville for Taylor’s profession. Taylor’s final couple of boyfriends have been considerably esoteric British artists. I’m prepared to wager he’d root for the Cowboys (the Eagles’ hated divisional rival) simply to be speaking ball on the dinner desk.

“Travis Kelce units pulses racing with resurfaced video of him carrying nothing however a towel: ‘Taylor [we] get it’” —Web page Six, December 21

Jodi: I need you to shut your eyes and picture the, actually, embarrassing smile that was plastered throughout my face as you described this Christmas-tree-loving man getting the all-American son-in-law he’d all the time dreamed of. I used to be welling up like I’d given my very own father the son-in-law that he would design in a lab, somebody to drink a Scotch with at Christmastime whereas they discuss how great I’m (funnily sufficient, an esoteric Brit would do simply high-quality in that scenario).

Now think about my face after I went from that glowing picture of familial synchronicity to this Web page Six headline. “Resurfaced” sounds extremely seedy, particularly when you think about that the resurfaced video captured Travis Kelce in a towel. I think about this headline is referencing the identical video I noticed touted in an identical headline at Individuals: “Throwback Travis Kelce Spa Video Goes Viral—and Heats Up the Web: ‘I Love Bubbles.’” And I actually can’t inform if the Individuals headline makes all of it appear much less tawdry or extra. There’s an enormous, big man saying, “I like bubbles,” certain—however then there’s additionally calling it a spa video.

What is that this spa video?! Who, precisely, is Web page Six quoting as telling Taylor they “get it”? And whose pulses had been racing? Not my pulse. I’ll should verify my calendar, however I’m fairly certain I used to be with Scott Swift on the sofa, having a few brewskies and watching the massive recreation on the day his future son-in-law was “heating up the web.” Nora, had been you on the web on at the present time? Why was Travis Kelce carrying solely a towel?

Nora: If the sluttiest factor a person can do is put on a sweater, is the second-sluttiest factor collaborating in an ESPN video function in your wellness routine? Right here’s the factor—it’s positively a alternative on the a part of these publications to lean into the spa video of all of it … however that’s actually what that is! Travis Kelce did a SportsCenter function in 2017 the place he went to a spa and received a therapeutic massage and wore what seems to be some form of clay masks. At one level, Travis, whereas mendacity on a therapeutic massage desk, advised his spa tech, “I simply really feel like I’m a fish sitting on a skillet proper now, simply getting, like, seasoned.” I’d like to tsk-tsk Web page Six and Individuals for making one thing innocuous into one thing tawdry, as you stated, however the query I can’t reply is: Why did ESPN do that? Why did Travis? And the way is that this man seasoning his fish?

One factor I can respect is the tried-and-true tabloid custom of taking a tweet preferred by 147 folks and presenting it as a bona fide web phenomenon. I used to be apparently logged off the day this all went down—I’m fairly tapped into this specific beat, however I don’t bear in mind taking note of this story. My pulse was decidedly languid.

“Tony Romo by chance calls Taylor Swift Travis Kelce’s ‘spouse’ for second time” —Web page Six, December 26

Jodi: It is a hilarious mistake to make twice. I’m obsessed. As a result of I’m fairly certain Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have been courting for less than six-ish months. So did Tony Romo simply instantly conceptualize Taylor as Travis’s spouse? Does he think about this to be a Jacob-Renesmee imprinting scenario? Is he a hopeless romantic or simply hopelessly forgetful? Plus, I really feel like Taylor Swift has been to 6 Chiefs video games whole … has Tony Romo known as her Travis Kelce’s spouse at a 3rd of them? And what is going to he name her if they really do get married? “Ah sure, and there’s Travis’s common-law life companion within the stands cheering him on. You merely like to see it, Jim! My pulse is racing.”

Nora: To start with, did you pull “Jim” out of skinny air, or are you intimately conversant in CBS’s NFL broadcast pairings? In both case, properly performed. I’m feeling beneficiant, so I’ll assume that Tony Romo can think about a lady in varied roles past simply “spouse” and that that’s not the underlying situation right here. Romo did make this flub twice. I like the concept the primary one was only a slip of the tongue, and the second was a type of pink elephant scenario the place Romo, each having been reminded by his producers that Taylor and Travis should not married and fearing the repercussions of offending any Swifties, spent a whole week pondering solely that he wanted to keep away from a repeat mistake till the intrusive ideas turned phrases but once more. Oh, Tony, what you’ve been by way of.

Jodi: Skinny air! I nearly went “Don” after which pivoted to “Jim.” Traditional broadcaster identify.

Nora: Sometime, then, we’ll have a dialog about Jim Nantz. However in the present day just isn’t that day.

“Travis Kelce gained’t be on the Golden Globes crimson carpet with Taylor Swift” —Web page Six, January 3

Jodi: Rattling, can this man go anyplace? It’s like he’s consistently grounded! “Travis can’t come out to play; he didn’t end his tackles earlier than dinner.” “However Mr. Reeeeid, tonight’s the Golden Globes.” “Sorry, Haim sisters, he is aware of the principles—you may inform Taylor to take it up with him tomorrow on the Emmys.”

I now know sufficient to have imagined that very real looking dialog—you’re educating me a lot, Nora! (Is that this probably the most secondhand embarrassment you’ve ever skilled? Be sincere.) However for actual, I do now know that if Travis took time between practices to go to his girlfriend, that may make his teammates mad … and taking time to journey internationally throughout a bye week would possibly trigger a scandal … and I can solely think about the identical goes for touring to L.A. to attend a bunch of Hollywood events on a Sunday night time. Positive, that good-looking younger man would possibly appear like a celebration animal, nevertheless it takes a number of self-discipline and sacrifice to be that—OK, wow, that is making me understand that taking part in for the NFL has most of the identical social parameters as highschool. Outdoors pressures! Social expectations! Scandal! Scorching however tortured jocks!

Which, for a girlie like Taylor, who didn’t get to have a wholly regular highschool expertise, may be form of good. Even when it means she by no means will get to see her sizzling jock boyfriend (based on Web page Six).

Nora: What’s funniest about that is that the Chiefs had been taking part in in Los Angeles the afternoon of the Golden Globes. You’re selecting up on one thing very actual about gamers being successfully grounded throughout the season. Some groups keep in accommodations the nights earlier than residence video games as a result of they’re not trusted to remain out of bother or navigate visitors on their very own and get to the stadium on time. It is a sport by which there’s typically outrage when gamers get excused absences (actually highschool) to attend the births of their youngsters. So a part of me finds it form of scrumptious that the gossip rags don’t deal with it as a fait accompli that the world revolves across the soccer calendar. However let’s be actual, it positively doesn’t revolve across the Golden Globes, both.

Jodi: Travis Kelce ought to host the Golden Globes subsequent yr … if he can get a physician’s be aware.

“Taylor Swift’s cat Olivia Benson has a better internet value than Travis Kelce” —Web page Six, January 7

Jodi: I’m sorry, does Taylor Swift’s cat have a job? Aside from being Taylor Swift’s cat? (And investigating particularly heinous crimes as a part of an elite legal justice squad often known as the Particular Victims Unit.)

Truly, let me again it up on that incredulity actual fast: In school, I manned the desk of a type of scholar lounge that consisted of precisely two pool tables that I imagine had been added to our campus as a substitute for binge consuming …

A cat positively may have performed that job. However they might not have made a greater wage than Travis Kelce, who I assume makes tens of tens of millions of {dollars}, plus fee for steamy ESPN movies.

Nora: Regardless of having as soon as been referred to by none aside from John Cleese as “the weirdest cat I’ve ever seen in my life,” Olivia Benson has, in actual fact, obtained compensation for skilled work. She’s performed commercials, you see. Manufacturers like DirecTV and Weight-reduction plan Coke are clamoring for that coveted O.B. endorsement.

In response to’s “Final Pet Wealthy Record,” Benson is the world’s third-richest home animal, coming in behind solely German shepherd Gunther VI, who not too long ago added to his $500 million internet value by promoting “a mansion previously owned by Madonna” (???), and cat influencer Nala, who has $100 million to her identify. Olivia Benson is simply behind at $97 million, which does eclipse Kelce’s $77 million profession earnings from soccer. I assume she has invested properly.

Jodi: OK, props to Olivia Benson—she could also be a nepo child, however she is not resting on her furry little laurels.

“Travis Kelce Explains Why He Sat Out the Chiefs’ Final Recreation: ‘It Didn’t Really feel Proper in My Intestine’” —Individuals, January 10

Jodi: Pay attention, I know I’m getting this one flawed. I do know it. As a result of I can truly hear Travis Kelce saying these phrases—“It didn’t really feel proper in my intestine”—and he’s utilizing that actually honest voice he makes use of on his podcast along with his brother typically (nevertheless it nonetheless feels like he’s smiling, as a result of he is Lance from The Different Two). So I do know he’s referring to an intuition “in his intestine” that advised him to not play on this recreation. And but …

… this Individuals headline is distinctly making it sound like Travis Kelce has been affected by gastrointestinal misery. One thing did not really feel proper in his intestine, and that factor was one too many Rooster Critters at Texas Roadhouse. However even as soon as I transfer previous my first (definitely incorrect) assumption about what this headline means, it nonetheless kiiind of feels like Travis Kelce … had a premonition one thing unhealthy would occur if he performed in his subsequent Chiefs recreation?

Is Travis Kelce a witch? Is Travis Kelce so profitable as a result of he’s simply been That’s So Raven–ing his method by way of the NFL? And if Travis Kelce can see the long run … did he all the time know that he would ultimately date Taylor Swift? That’s heavy, man. (Additionally, I didn’t know you could possibly simply sit out an NFL recreation should you needed to. Of all the principles we’ve mentioned, each written and unwritten, “taking part in within the video games” form of appears like a biggie?)

Nora: I don’t imply to be gross right here, however I’ve a pet principle that method extra participant absences are attributable to, um, gastrointestinal misery than we understand. These are huge dudes: They eat rather a lot, after which they run round. Generally an “stomach” pops up on an damage report and, properly, we’re all human. ANYWAY, thanks for reminding me concerning the supernatural central plot of That’s So Raven. For somebody who spends a nonzero quantity of present-day time fascinated about That’s So Raven, I feel I’d forgotten that That’s So Raven was actually about something aside from Raven-Symoné making faces that will in the future turn into memes.

The factor to know right here is that the sport in query was the Chiefs’ final recreation of the common season. By that time, they’d gained sufficient video games to make sure they had been making the playoffs. Profitable yet another didn’t matter. When that’s the case, vital gamers typically sit out in order that they don’t danger getting harm. Travis was 16 receiving yards away from attending to 1,000 on the season, a milestone that he has reached for the previous seven years and is a reasonably huge deal, however provided that he has had accidents this season and he’s vital to the crew, it will actually have been extra shocking if he had performed. Mainly, Travis sat out the Chiefs recreation as a result of it didn’t really feel proper in his ankle.

Jodi: I’ve a pet principle that Olivia Benson ought to purchase me a automotive. However yours about NFL gamers having tummy aches on a regular basis positively sounds proper, and it feels like Trav made the best alternative. (After all he did, he’s actually a witch.)

“Travis Kelce is ‘too well-known’ and busy with Taylor Swift to textual content me again, ex-Chiefs participant Tyreek Hill says” —Web page Six, January 12

Jodi: That is no offense to Tyreek Hill, and what I’m certain are his completely legitimate friendship emotions, however … I can barely textual content folks again, and I’m not well-known in any respect. It takes each ounce of energy in me to put up an Instagram Story. Generally doing issues is simply onerous! (Though I’ve seen Travis Kelce’s tweets—he is probably not overthinking his social media exercise to the diploma that I’m.)

I imply, are you able to think about how a lot your life would change when you began courting Taylor Swift? The logistics that go into consuming dinner at a restaurant or touring to Argentina or getting a gathering about branding alternatives together with her cat? Let’s give the person a while to settle into love a little bit bit, make it by way of this soccer season along with his abdomen lining intact, and—most likely most central to Tyreek’s texting targets—get better his telephone from wherever Tree Paine hid it after these outdated tweets got here out. (Alternatively, one thought for Tyreek is that if he simply pulls as much as any parking zone in Kansas Metropolis in an extra-large Escalade, Travis Kelce would possibly simply present up.)

Nora: Texting is the precise pits. I’m so with you there. Additionally, Tyreek Hill is a full-on boob with a historical past of inflicting issues for his pals and colleagues by oversharing on his podcast—and far worse. Sorry not sorry you bought left on learn!

Jodi: Travis Kelce, should you’re studying this, do not method an Escalade XL within the Kansas Metropolis Goal parking zone—Tyreek Hill is in there ready to spill your secrets and techniques!

“TMZ Sources Say Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Are Coming into a ‘Very Difficult Stage of Their Relationship’” —Delish, January 16

Jodi: OK, I positively don’t wish to sound impolite to journalists, however …

… the largest challenges to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s relationship are these tabloid headlines. Which, as you astutely identified on the prime of this grand inquisition, Nora, create an pointless binary out of documenting each time that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are or are not collectively. It looks like Travis Kelce didn’t go to the Golden Globes as a result of he’s devoted to his job. Which, given every little thing I find out about Taylor Swift, I’ve to imagine she likes about him.

After all, that is an assumption. As a result of this train with you has taught me rather a lot concerning the social politics of the NFL, and much more about cat funds, however interrogating these headlines has taught me completely nothing about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s precise relationship, which I’ve about as a lot entry to as Tyreek Hill has to Travis Kelce’s iMessages. Which is to say: none! Wanting a That’s So Raven second, there’s actually no method for me to verify whether or not this superstar relationship is getting into “a really difficult stage.” However I can method these superstar web site headlines with a barely extra nuanced tackle actuality (and soccer schedules) because of the one and solely Nora Princiotti, featured right here … WITHOUT TAYLOR SWIFT!

What about you, Nora? The place do you land after explaining soccer to a lady in her 30s as a result of two different folks of their 30s make headlines each time they don’t do one thing collectively?

Nora: For starters, I’ve discovered rather a lot concerning the varied culinary choices of Texas Roadhouse. Past that, we’re in settlement that the Taylor and the Travis depicted in these headlines and articles are attention-grabbing and considerably weird characters, however they don’t appear to have a ton in frequent with the real-life Traylor. That stated, with out counting on TMZ or any inside info of my very own, I do really feel that I can affirm that Taylor and Travis are approaching a difficult stretch: They’re going to Buffalo collectively this weekend.

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